Believer

Rachel, you are still such a believer in all things make-believe. Sometimes I am baffled by the lack of logic, but mostly I'm impressed with your willingness to not care if things make sense.

A couple of weeks ago, I took you and Cordelia to see Sesame Street Live. Cordelia was stone faced the entire time. She just stared. You enjoyed every minute of it, singing and dancing and yelling out answers. When we came home, I chatted with Cordelia a bit. She admitted that she had been scared. The monsters were so much bigger than she had thought they were. I was surprised to find out that she thought Elmo and his friends were real. I explained to her that they were people in costumes, which was why they were so big. On TV they are puppets and here they are grown ups . We discussed how they saw, where their heads were, and how they took them off. She was very relieved.

We went downstairs and I told Daddy what had just happened. I told them how she had thought the monsters were real, but they were just people in costumes. Behind me, I heard you making a strangled sound. I looked over and you just said, "Moooom..." and looked, I don't know, upset and shocked. Like I had just said something really offensive. It turns out, you also had not realized that the monsters were people in costume. You had thought they were real. You were so mad at me for telling you otherwise. You kept asking, "Is that true?" just begging me to change my answer and say that they were not people in costumes.

You often ask, even before the Sesame Street incident, if things are real or not. Things such as mermaids, fairies, goblins, unicorns, monsters, dragons, various animals... you always want to know if they're real. Mostly, I have just started asking you if you think they're real or not. You've decided that mermaids are not real, nor are unicorns, but fairies are.

We are now in the Christmas season. On the weekend, we went to the Santa Claus parade. You loved every minute of it. Your belief in Santa Claus is 100% in tact. When we woke up in the morning, Buddy the Elf had returned. You and Cordelia were ecstatic. You've been talking to Buddy, whispering to him, dancing for him. It's adorable. While I was making dinner, you came in to the kitchen with an odd look on your face. A frozen smile. I asked what was up and you said, nothing. But you had that smile that you were fighting to keep on, even as your face dissolved into tears. The whole story came tumbling out: you had been putting a puzzle away on the shelf when Buddy had gotten jostled and he fell over. You were just beside yourself, sobbing. I assured you that things would be okay and we went to check on Buddy. I assured you that grown ups were allowed to touch elves. I picked him up and leaned in to hear what he had to say. PHEW! Don't worry, Rach, Buddy was just fine. I settled him down and had you run and get a cold thing (ice pack). I put it on Buddy's head for a few minutes and then he was fine.

Today, you raced into school and caught up with Adrianna on the way. From the road I heard you exclaiming in excitement about the REAL ELF that was in your house. My heart froze a bit. Please, please, please don't let anyone ruin this for you. When Mason came over today after school, you grabbed him and ran him into the kitchen where Buddy was hanging out today. I wasn't sure - he looked up and saw Buddy. Did he see an elf? Did he see a doll? Either way, he didn't say anything. He thought it was cool and told his mom all about it when she got here.

Rachel, you make my heart burst with your imagination and trust. I hope a part of this never leaves you.

Love Mommy