Your Name

Dear Rachel,

Daddy and I didn't find out that you were a girl until I was about 31 weeks pregnant. We had to accept that we may not find out until you were born and so get crackin on finding a name for you, boy or girl.  Until I got pregnant, I always believed that you couldn't really pick a name for a baby until you looked them in the face and saw if it fit. I think Nana told me that. Anyway, once I was pregnant with you I realized that was wrong. I knew you. I could feel you, talk to you, play with you. I felt like we were already communicating. So, when it came to picking names, I knew when we found the right one, I would be able to tell.

Daddy and I did not agree on any names though, unfortunately. We must have gone through nearly a dozen baby name books. I read credits after movies, on TV shows, scanned headlines and magazines. Thought of every book I ever read and all the names in them. We would lie in bed and just toss out names randomly.  Every name would be responded to immediately - with: "no", "as if", "you're kidding, right?" or "veto." 

One morning we were lying in bed feeling you move (must've been a weekend) and I said, "Rachel." And Daddy paused, then said, "Yeah." And I said, "Yeah? Really?" I had to think about it for a moment.  I had been tossing out names for months and never once had your Dad said anything even close to a 'maybe' so this caught me off guard. I wasn't even sure if I liked it!

Turned out, I did. I didn't have any clients named Rachel (still haven't) and never met a Rachel I didn't like. It was classic, not too trendy, but not too out there. It fit.

Renee was always going to be your middle name. My Nana's name was Irene, but people called her Rene (ree-nee).  I wanted to name you in her honour, but not 'after' her necessarily. Old names are making a comeback, but Irene... not so much. I adored my Nana and had a special relationship with her.

Once Rachel Renee was decided on, I called you it in my head all the time. When I talked to you when no one was around, I used your name and it was right. I could tell that you were Rachel.  When I was in labour with you at the hospital, the nurse asked what your name was going to be. We hesitated and said, "Rachel Renee... maybe?" because I was still stuck on having to see you to be certain.  What if I was wrong? What if my mom was right and you didn't look anything like a Rachel?  Obviously, you were.  :)

And that's how you got your name.

Love Mommy