Happiness is Not Real...

Dear Rachel,

There is a terrible movie that your Auntie Kristi made me watch once called Into The Wild.  I won't horrify you with the storyline, but the moral of the story is summed up in the quote, "Happiness is not real unless shared."  I repeat this line to myself at least a dozen times a day relating to you. 

You are a joy and I want more than anything for you to be happy.  Most of the time, you are happy. So delightfully happy!  Thrilled with every new thing you see, do, think and feel, and you want to share it.  Mostly you want to share it with me, which is lovely, but exhausting.  At least a hundred times an hour (give or take) I hear your sweet little voice calling out, "Mommy! Come see this!" "Mommy! Look at me!" "Mommy, I just want to tell you something,"  "Mommy! Look! Mommy! Moooooommmy!! Look!!" 

I would love to give you all of the attention that you crave, but the reality of having three children and a house to maintain is that I can't always drop everything to look, see, feel, read, listen, nod or do whatever it is you want of me. I do try though. I pause. I remind myself that happiness is not real unless shared and you are wanting to share something with me. Sharing your happy thing will make you happier. And that's what I want.

Weeds will always be in the garden.  Dishes will always be dirty. Your brother and sister will often need my help. There will always be something interesting online. But you will not always be four. And you will not always be happy. While you are though, I want to share it with you.

Love Mommy