Dear Rachel,
A couple of weeks ago, you and I were playing with stacking cups that have numbers written in English, French and Spanish on the side. I was trying to explain to you about different languages and was speaking in French a bit to you. You started speaking jibberish back, which was kind of cute. I thought you were trying to speak French, but you politely informed me that you were speaking Simon.
Since then, Simon has become an actual language to you. You speak it to your babies and you speak it to me. If I ever catch you mumbling and tell you I didn't understand what you said, you tell me it's because you were speaking Simon. I think you honestly think it is a real language, not just something you made up. It sounds almost real when I listen to it. You are so funny.
Love, Mommy
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Halloween
Hey Rachie,
You had a great Halloween, again. You are so into the holidays at this age and I love it. I think dressing up + candy is probably your idea of heaven. Add in the crafts that come with Halloween, and I'm sure this was up there with your favourite times of year.
This was your fifth Halloween. So far, you have been a bug, a unicorn, a princess, Abby Cadabby (a fairy in training) and this year you were an angel. Nana made your costume, but she didn't get it done in time for the church party, so you wore one of your costumes from your costume bin. You were a unicorn with wings.
Halloween was on a Sunday this year. You and I and Kingsley all went to Malloween at Westmount on Saturday while Cordelia was napping. We met Molly and my friend Dawn and her kids Kaitlyn and Liam. You did a craft, got candy and loved every minute of it. Later that day, we went to Malloween at Masonville where we met Grandma, Scarlet and Eric. You and Cordelia were great Trick or Treat'ers. It was packed, but you were polite.
On Halloween, Nana came over and we went trick or treating with you and Cordelia while Daddy and Kingsley stayed home to hand out candy. You didn't even notice how cold it was outside. I was freezing and Nana was ready to be done long before you and Cordelia were. I had to insist that you wore hats but you refused to wear your mitts. You insisted that you were fine!
I love sharing holidays with you.
Love Mommy
You had a great Halloween, again. You are so into the holidays at this age and I love it. I think dressing up + candy is probably your idea of heaven. Add in the crafts that come with Halloween, and I'm sure this was up there with your favourite times of year.
This was your fifth Halloween. So far, you have been a bug, a unicorn, a princess, Abby Cadabby (a fairy in training) and this year you were an angel. Nana made your costume, but she didn't get it done in time for the church party, so you wore one of your costumes from your costume bin. You were a unicorn with wings.
Halloween was on a Sunday this year. You and I and Kingsley all went to Malloween at Westmount on Saturday while Cordelia was napping. We met Molly and my friend Dawn and her kids Kaitlyn and Liam. You did a craft, got candy and loved every minute of it. Later that day, we went to Malloween at Masonville where we met Grandma, Scarlet and Eric. You and Cordelia were great Trick or Treat'ers. It was packed, but you were polite.
On Halloween, Nana came over and we went trick or treating with you and Cordelia while Daddy and Kingsley stayed home to hand out candy. You didn't even notice how cold it was outside. I was freezing and Nana was ready to be done long before you and Cordelia were. I had to insist that you wore hats but you refused to wear your mitts. You insisted that you were fine!
I love sharing holidays with you.
Love Mommy
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
School Girl
Hi Sweetness,
This month you started school! You are in Junior Kindergarten at St. Jude - the same school I went to! So far, you love it.
We started prepping you for the idea of school in August. Whenever we drove past, we'd point out your school and tell you that you'd be going there in September. We talked about what the day would be like (you go 5 mornings a week) and what sort of things you would do.
On September 9, 2010, the five of us all went to meet your teacher and see your classroom. Her name is Mrs. Elgie. Your JK classroom is the same as mine. It was a bit odd to be in it again. Mrs. Elgie showed you all of the different centres, where your hook was, where you'd put your snack bag, and then we went on a tour of the school. We saw the library (you were thrilled that there was a whole library IN your school), the computer room, and the gym. You tested out the gym and declared that it was the biggest room you'd ever seen. After your visit, you told me that you weren't nervous about starting school anymore. You were ready to go!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010 was your first official real school day. The whole class was there. You were very excited to go and very happy at the end of the morning as well. You love to draw (they have markers at school) and paint and build with the blocks. You claim that you never get in trouble and you always listen.
This month you started school! You are in Junior Kindergarten at St. Jude - the same school I went to! So far, you love it.
We started prepping you for the idea of school in August. Whenever we drove past, we'd point out your school and tell you that you'd be going there in September. We talked about what the day would be like (you go 5 mornings a week) and what sort of things you would do.
On September 9, 2010, the five of us all went to meet your teacher and see your classroom. Her name is Mrs. Elgie. Your JK classroom is the same as mine. It was a bit odd to be in it again. Mrs. Elgie showed you all of the different centres, where your hook was, where you'd put your snack bag, and then we went on a tour of the school. We saw the library (you were thrilled that there was a whole library IN your school), the computer room, and the gym. You tested out the gym and declared that it was the biggest room you'd ever seen. After your visit, you told me that you weren't nervous about starting school anymore. You were ready to go!
On Monday, September 13, 2010, you had your first day of school with a smaller class. Only 4 other children were there. One was a girl named Hailey who has blond (you insist it's yellow) curly hair. You and Hailey still play together, but you tell me that she gets in trouble a lot for not listening. You enjoyed this first day.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010 was your first official real school day. The whole class was there. You were very excited to go and very happy at the end of the morning as well. You love to draw (they have markers at school) and paint and build with the blocks. You claim that you never get in trouble and you always listen.
Last week, there was a meet the teacher night. All five of us went and saw your classroom again. You immediately sat down and started drawing with the markers. Cordelia took off to the house centre and started playing with the babies. You talked with a boy named Mason who, we found out, lives on our street. Mrs. Elgie told us that you were very creative and loved telling stories and drawing pictures. We saw your artwork on the wall. You were supposed to draw pictures of yourself and your picture was the only one that had a full body, four limbs, a head, hair, eyelashes, ears, a sun, clouds and grass. You really are quite the artist.
We are so proud of you Rachel and are so happy that you are enjoying school. I hope you continue to enjoy school for many years to come.
Love, Mommy
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Happiness is Not Real...
Dear Rachel,
There is a terrible movie that your Auntie Kristi made me watch once called Into The Wild. I won't horrify you with the storyline, but the moral of the story is summed up in the quote, "Happiness is not real unless shared." I repeat this line to myself at least a dozen times a day relating to you.
You are a joy and I want more than anything for you to be happy. Most of the time, you are happy. So delightfully happy! Thrilled with every new thing you see, do, think and feel, and you want to share it. Mostly you want to share it with me, which is lovely, but exhausting. At least a hundred times an hour (give or take) I hear your sweet little voice calling out, "Mommy! Come see this!" "Mommy! Look at me!" "Mommy, I just want to tell you something," "Mommy! Look! Mommy! Moooooommmy!! Look!!"
I would love to give you all of the attention that you crave, but the reality of having three children and a house to maintain is that I can't always drop everything to look, see, feel, read, listen, nod or do whatever it is you want of me. I do try though. I pause. I remind myself that happiness is not real unless shared and you are wanting to share something with me. Sharing your happy thing will make you happier. And that's what I want.
Weeds will always be in the garden. Dishes will always be dirty. Your brother and sister will often need my help. There will always be something interesting online. But you will not always be four. And you will not always be happy. While you are though, I want to share it with you.
Love Mommy
There is a terrible movie that your Auntie Kristi made me watch once called Into The Wild. I won't horrify you with the storyline, but the moral of the story is summed up in the quote, "Happiness is not real unless shared." I repeat this line to myself at least a dozen times a day relating to you.
You are a joy and I want more than anything for you to be happy. Most of the time, you are happy. So delightfully happy! Thrilled with every new thing you see, do, think and feel, and you want to share it. Mostly you want to share it with me, which is lovely, but exhausting. At least a hundred times an hour (give or take) I hear your sweet little voice calling out, "Mommy! Come see this!" "Mommy! Look at me!" "Mommy, I just want to tell you something," "Mommy! Look! Mommy! Moooooommmy!! Look!!"
I would love to give you all of the attention that you crave, but the reality of having three children and a house to maintain is that I can't always drop everything to look, see, feel, read, listen, nod or do whatever it is you want of me. I do try though. I pause. I remind myself that happiness is not real unless shared and you are wanting to share something with me. Sharing your happy thing will make you happier. And that's what I want.
Weeds will always be in the garden. Dishes will always be dirty. Your brother and sister will often need my help. There will always be something interesting online. But you will not always be four. And you will not always be happy. While you are though, I want to share it with you.
Love Mommy
Monday, July 19, 2010
Little Swimmer
Hi Sweetheart,
So much has been going on lately, but while I have a minute I wanted to let you know that today you started swimming lessons. You're supposed to be in a beginner class, but they didn't have one at Southcrest, just the second level up. And then that level was combined with the level above it because of low enrollment. As a result, you are one of three kids in your class and you are more interested in showing your teacher what you can do than doing what she's asking you to do. You are adorable. You loved every minute of it, even when you started to turn blue.
Love Mommy
So much has been going on lately, but while I have a minute I wanted to let you know that today you started swimming lessons. You're supposed to be in a beginner class, but they didn't have one at Southcrest, just the second level up. And then that level was combined with the level above it because of low enrollment. As a result, you are one of three kids in your class and you are more interested in showing your teacher what you can do than doing what she's asking you to do. You are adorable. You loved every minute of it, even when you started to turn blue.
Love Mommy
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Neighbours
Dear Rachel
Today you and I were flying a Buzz Lightyear kite on the driveway when a little girl and her mom appeared and said that they were lured by the kite to come meet us. The girls name is Sarah and she's 6 years old. Her brother, Andrew, showed up a bit later. You all took turns flying the kite and then Sarah's mom and brother went home and left Sarah to play here with you. You guys rode bikes on the driveway (Sarah doesn't have training wheels anymore) and flew the kite some more before deciding to go in the backyard. There, you showed Sarah all of the things you like to play with: your swings, the slide, your water table, your pool, your garden.
I tried to stay out of the way. I didn't want to cramp your style while you were making a new friend. It was so adorable to hear you talk to her and play. You were a great friend! You took turns climbing the flag pole and playing on the monkey bar. You were so eager. You played tag (she was better at it than you, so you gave up after awhile) and hide and seek (neither of you were very good at hiding), and showed her how you play Bumble Bee on your swings.
I don't know if you and Sarah will be come lifelong BFF's or total enemies, but it was pretty neat that you now have someone to play with in the neighbourhood.
Love Mommy
Today you and I were flying a Buzz Lightyear kite on the driveway when a little girl and her mom appeared and said that they were lured by the kite to come meet us. The girls name is Sarah and she's 6 years old. Her brother, Andrew, showed up a bit later. You all took turns flying the kite and then Sarah's mom and brother went home and left Sarah to play here with you. You guys rode bikes on the driveway (Sarah doesn't have training wheels anymore) and flew the kite some more before deciding to go in the backyard. There, you showed Sarah all of the things you like to play with: your swings, the slide, your water table, your pool, your garden.
I tried to stay out of the way. I didn't want to cramp your style while you were making a new friend. It was so adorable to hear you talk to her and play. You were a great friend! You took turns climbing the flag pole and playing on the monkey bar. You were so eager. You played tag (she was better at it than you, so you gave up after awhile) and hide and seek (neither of you were very good at hiding), and showed her how you play Bumble Bee on your swings.
I don't know if you and Sarah will be come lifelong BFF's or total enemies, but it was pretty neat that you now have someone to play with in the neighbourhood.
Love Mommy
Thursday, June 3, 2010
We are the Dancers...
Dear Rachie,
You are a superstar!! Today was the day of your Preschool year end show. The theme was the Jungle. You wore your Easter dress and had your ballerina slipper hair clips in because you were doing a solo dance. Your teacher, Teacher Evelyn, asked me last month if I thought you would be interested in doing one. During class one day they were playing Tchaikovsky and you had ignored the instructions and just danced. You did a whole dance for your class! Well, your teachers were so impressed. So, today you danced for all of us. Without any hesitation or sign of nerves, you jumped, twirled and swayed to the music.
There were four solo moments. Bella Hayman did a magic show, Eric played the violin, and the studio's owner's daughter also did a dance. But yours was the highlight by far! I was smiling ear to ear and so proud of my girl. When the dance was over, you smiled and bowed so gracefully.
After the performance, I was putting Kingsley in his bucket carseat and I overheard another mom talking to Teacher Evelyn and telling her that your dance was so beautiful it brought tears to her eyes.
You are one in a million, Rachel! I love you so much.
Love Mommy
You are a superstar!! Today was the day of your Preschool year end show. The theme was the Jungle. You wore your Easter dress and had your ballerina slipper hair clips in because you were doing a solo dance. Your teacher, Teacher Evelyn, asked me last month if I thought you would be interested in doing one. During class one day they were playing Tchaikovsky and you had ignored the instructions and just danced. You did a whole dance for your class! Well, your teachers were so impressed. So, today you danced for all of us. Without any hesitation or sign of nerves, you jumped, twirled and swayed to the music.
There were four solo moments. Bella Hayman did a magic show, Eric played the violin, and the studio's owner's daughter also did a dance. But yours was the highlight by far! I was smiling ear to ear and so proud of my girl. When the dance was over, you smiled and bowed so gracefully.
After the performance, I was putting Kingsley in his bucket carseat and I overheard another mom talking to Teacher Evelyn and telling her that your dance was so beautiful it brought tears to her eyes.
You are one in a million, Rachel! I love you so much.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Your Name
Dear Rachel,
Daddy and I didn't find out that you were a girl until I was about 31 weeks pregnant. We had to accept that we may not find out until you were born and so get crackin on finding a name for you, boy or girl. Until I got pregnant, I always believed that you couldn't really pick a name for a baby until you looked them in the face and saw if it fit. I think Nana told me that. Anyway, once I was pregnant with you I realized that was wrong. I knew you. I could feel you, talk to you, play with you. I felt like we were already communicating. So, when it came to picking names, I knew when we found the right one, I would be able to tell.
Daddy and I did not agree on any names though, unfortunately. We must have gone through nearly a dozen baby name books. I read credits after movies, on TV shows, scanned headlines and magazines. Thought of every book I ever read and all the names in them. We would lie in bed and just toss out names randomly. Every name would be responded to immediately - with: "no", "as if", "you're kidding, right?" or "veto."
One morning we were lying in bed feeling you move (must've been a weekend) and I said, "Rachel." And Daddy paused, then said, "Yeah." And I said, "Yeah? Really?" I had to think about it for a moment. I had been tossing out names for months and never once had your Dad said anything even close to a 'maybe' so this caught me off guard. I wasn't even sure if I liked it!
Turned out, I did. I didn't have any clients named Rachel (still haven't) and never met a Rachel I didn't like. It was classic, not too trendy, but not too out there. It fit.
Renee was always going to be your middle name. My Nana's name was Irene, but people called her Rene (ree-nee). I wanted to name you in her honour, but not 'after' her necessarily. Old names are making a comeback, but Irene... not so much. I adored my Nana and had a special relationship with her.
Once Rachel Renee was decided on, I called you it in my head all the time. When I talked to you when no one was around, I used your name and it was right. I could tell that you were Rachel. When I was in labour with you at the hospital, the nurse asked what your name was going to be. We hesitated and said, "Rachel Renee... maybe?" because I was still stuck on having to see you to be certain. What if I was wrong? What if my mom was right and you didn't look anything like a Rachel? Obviously, you were. :)
And that's how you got your name.
Love Mommy
Daddy and I didn't find out that you were a girl until I was about 31 weeks pregnant. We had to accept that we may not find out until you were born and so get crackin on finding a name for you, boy or girl. Until I got pregnant, I always believed that you couldn't really pick a name for a baby until you looked them in the face and saw if it fit. I think Nana told me that. Anyway, once I was pregnant with you I realized that was wrong. I knew you. I could feel you, talk to you, play with you. I felt like we were already communicating. So, when it came to picking names, I knew when we found the right one, I would be able to tell.
Daddy and I did not agree on any names though, unfortunately. We must have gone through nearly a dozen baby name books. I read credits after movies, on TV shows, scanned headlines and magazines. Thought of every book I ever read and all the names in them. We would lie in bed and just toss out names randomly. Every name would be responded to immediately - with: "no", "as if", "you're kidding, right?" or "veto."
One morning we were lying in bed feeling you move (must've been a weekend) and I said, "Rachel." And Daddy paused, then said, "Yeah." And I said, "Yeah? Really?" I had to think about it for a moment. I had been tossing out names for months and never once had your Dad said anything even close to a 'maybe' so this caught me off guard. I wasn't even sure if I liked it!
Turned out, I did. I didn't have any clients named Rachel (still haven't) and never met a Rachel I didn't like. It was classic, not too trendy, but not too out there. It fit.
Renee was always going to be your middle name. My Nana's name was Irene, but people called her Rene (ree-nee). I wanted to name you in her honour, but not 'after' her necessarily. Old names are making a comeback, but Irene... not so much. I adored my Nana and had a special relationship with her.
Once Rachel Renee was decided on, I called you it in my head all the time. When I talked to you when no one was around, I used your name and it was right. I could tell that you were Rachel. When I was in labour with you at the hospital, the nurse asked what your name was going to be. We hesitated and said, "Rachel Renee... maybe?" because I was still stuck on having to see you to be certain. What if I was wrong? What if my mom was right and you didn't look anything like a Rachel? Obviously, you were. :)
And that's how you got your name.
Love Mommy
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Hair
Oh, Rachel.
Yesterday you did something that I have been dreading for years. I have heard that at some point most little girls will cut their hair, but I really didn't expect this and especially not from you! Yesterday you cut your hair off. Really, cut your hair off.
I was running around, going between making dinner, feeding Kingsley and keeping Cordelia from tearing up the house. I wasn't paying much attention to you, but that's not really a bad thing since you are quite independent and have always been a great solo player. You were in your playroom and I wasn't worried.
Earlier, while Cordelia was napping you had asked if you could use scissors for arts and crafts. I had bought you a new school book and you wanted to see if it had cutting exercises like the book at Grandma's had. It didn't, so you just did some snipping of your own. I forgot to make sure you put the scissors away. Cordelia woke up and I gave you two baths, then we came down and Kingsley woke up, dinner had to start, Cordelia started going stir crazy...
Just before dinner was ready, I opened the garbage lid to toss something in and saw a pile of hair. HAIR. Your hair. I just stood there staring for a minute trying to figure out why I was looking at a pile of your hair. I called you into the room and you came in. We just stared at each other. I'm not sure what my face looked like, but you looked worried when you saw my face. Not scared, not embarrassed, not guilty. That told me a lot. I said, "Rachel, you cut your hair." And you said, "Yeah..."
I wasn't sure how to react. Do I get mad, when you clearly didn't realize what you had done was wrong? Do I laugh, which may encourage you to try it again? Do I cry, which may make you feel bad about yourself when clearly it was only hair...? I got a little dizzy. I did what I always do in these crazy situations. I sat you on the counter and got out my camera.
Yesterday you did something that I have been dreading for years. I have heard that at some point most little girls will cut their hair, but I really didn't expect this and especially not from you! Yesterday you cut your hair off. Really, cut your hair off.
I was running around, going between making dinner, feeding Kingsley and keeping Cordelia from tearing up the house. I wasn't paying much attention to you, but that's not really a bad thing since you are quite independent and have always been a great solo player. You were in your playroom and I wasn't worried.
Earlier, while Cordelia was napping you had asked if you could use scissors for arts and crafts. I had bought you a new school book and you wanted to see if it had cutting exercises like the book at Grandma's had. It didn't, so you just did some snipping of your own. I forgot to make sure you put the scissors away. Cordelia woke up and I gave you two baths, then we came down and Kingsley woke up, dinner had to start, Cordelia started going stir crazy...
Just before dinner was ready, I opened the garbage lid to toss something in and saw a pile of hair. HAIR. Your hair. I just stood there staring for a minute trying to figure out why I was looking at a pile of your hair. I called you into the room and you came in. We just stared at each other. I'm not sure what my face looked like, but you looked worried when you saw my face. Not scared, not embarrassed, not guilty. That told me a lot. I said, "Rachel, you cut your hair." And you said, "Yeah..."
I wasn't sure how to react. Do I get mad, when you clearly didn't realize what you had done was wrong? Do I laugh, which may encourage you to try it again? Do I cry, which may make you feel bad about yourself when clearly it was only hair...? I got a little dizzy. I did what I always do in these crazy situations. I sat you on the counter and got out my camera.
I don't know what made you do it, but you chopped the sides and a lot of the back. You told me later that you didn't do all of the back because you couldn't reach it. The right side was cut more than the left, but the left side was shorter. There was even a chunk in front where you had cut your bangs even shorter along with a lock that was not supposed to be bangs.
Today, I took you to Max&Oskars, a kids hair salon where you got your first haircut. There, for $25, I tried to get your hair fixed. At first today, you didn't understand why this would be your last ponytail or why we had to cut your hair more, but after it was done you didn't seem to care at all. You've been running around like nothing happened. I keep getting caught off guard by your super short 'do.
You're such a beautiful girl though. We could shave your head and you'd still be the most beautiful child with only a smile.
Love Mommy
Monday, May 3, 2010
My Social Butterfly
Dear Rachie,
Today we went to the park again with Kingsley and Cordelia. When we got there, there was 2 little girls with their grandparents and a bunch of boys playing. We had lunch, then you and Cordelia went to play. At first you wandered around exploring the equipment, avoiding the agressive boys, helping Cordelia out every now and again. Then all of a sudden, you were holding hands and bringing another little girl over to meet your baby brother. Her name was Riley (you were both delighted to find that your names both started with R and had e's in them) and she was also 4 years old. You played together until her grandparents dragged her away to go home and we left to feed the ducks.
You are just like this. You make friends where ever you go and other little kids love playing with you. You have such an infectious smile and sweet laugh. I've never seen you fight or argue with your friends and some of your more rambunctious friends are calm when you're around. I hope you always make friends this easily.
Love Mommy
Today we went to the park again with Kingsley and Cordelia. When we got there, there was 2 little girls with their grandparents and a bunch of boys playing. We had lunch, then you and Cordelia went to play. At first you wandered around exploring the equipment, avoiding the agressive boys, helping Cordelia out every now and again. Then all of a sudden, you were holding hands and bringing another little girl over to meet your baby brother. Her name was Riley (you were both delighted to find that your names both started with R and had e's in them) and she was also 4 years old. You played together until her grandparents dragged her away to go home and we left to feed the ducks.
You are just like this. You make friends where ever you go and other little kids love playing with you. You have such an infectious smile and sweet laugh. I've never seen you fight or argue with your friends and some of your more rambunctious friends are calm when you're around. I hope you always make friends this easily.
Love Mommy
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Dance Party
Hi Baby,
Just about your favourite thing to do lately is have a dance party. You have a CD that we got for free in a McDonald's Happy Meal last summer. It's by Kid's Bop or something. Kid versions of current pop songs. This one has Pon de Replay by Rihanna, Beautiful Girl by Shawn Kingston, and Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cindy Lauper. You blare it and dance and dance and dance. Cordelia has started dancing with you now and is getting better.
The other day my friend Alison brought over two pettiskirts for you and Cordelia. That has brought your dance party up to another level. I LOVE watching you dance.
Just about your favourite thing to do lately is have a dance party. You have a CD that we got for free in a McDonald's Happy Meal last summer. It's by Kid's Bop or something. Kid versions of current pop songs. This one has Pon de Replay by Rihanna, Beautiful Girl by Shawn Kingston, and Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cindy Lauper. You blare it and dance and dance and dance. Cordelia has started dancing with you now and is getting better.
The other day my friend Alison brought over two pettiskirts for you and Cordelia. That has brought your dance party up to another level. I LOVE watching you dance.
Love Mommy
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Your Nicknames
Hi Rachel,
You have a ton of nicknames, some have stuck, some have not. Grandpa always gave me and Auntie Kristi and Uncle David, so it was only natural that you would have a number of them as well. You are also at an age now where you are beginning to create nicknames of your own for your brother and sister. You call Cordelia The Marvelous Cormelia, and you decided that Kingsley's nickname should be Frog. Here is why we call you what we do:
Rach, Rachie: Obviously short forms of your name. A lot of people call you Rachie, like Silvia and Eric and Cordelia (Chay-chee).
Turtle, Turtle D: this was your first nickname and I gave it to you. When I was in the hospital with you after your birth you would do a weird stretch where your head would suddenly stretch out from your body and you would make a face with like you were going face first into the wind. It reminded me of an old turtle coming out of it's shell. You were my first baby and the first newborn I had spent anytime with, so I didn't know that most (all?) babies make this face.
Mr. Miagee: another name you had as a baby. When I picked you up under your arms, you'd scruch in and it would remind me of that bird pose in Karate Kid (which is a movie from way before your time). Mr. Miagee was a character in that movie.
Rachel B, Miss B, Rachie B, Baby B, Angel B: all things from your name and initials.
Love Mommy
You have a ton of nicknames, some have stuck, some have not. Grandpa always gave me and Auntie Kristi and Uncle David, so it was only natural that you would have a number of them as well. You are also at an age now where you are beginning to create nicknames of your own for your brother and sister. You call Cordelia The Marvelous Cormelia, and you decided that Kingsley's nickname should be Frog. Here is why we call you what we do:
Rach, Rachie: Obviously short forms of your name. A lot of people call you Rachie, like Silvia and Eric and Cordelia (Chay-chee).
Turtle, Turtle D: this was your first nickname and I gave it to you. When I was in the hospital with you after your birth you would do a weird stretch where your head would suddenly stretch out from your body and you would make a face with like you were going face first into the wind. It reminded me of an old turtle coming out of it's shell. You were my first baby and the first newborn I had spent anytime with, so I didn't know that most (all?) babies make this face.
Mr. Miagee: another name you had as a baby. When I picked you up under your arms, you'd scruch in and it would remind me of that bird pose in Karate Kid (which is a movie from way before your time). Mr. Miagee was a character in that movie.
Rachel B, Miss B, Rachie B, Baby B, Angel B: all things from your name and initials.
Love Mommy
Friday, April 23, 2010
The Park
Hi Rachie,
Today we went to the park and met up with my friend Alison and her four kids. You have met them before, but you didn't remember it, although you had called yourself Princess Kaia for quite sometime after meeting them. We had a picnic and then played on the equipment and fed the geese. You had a great time. You are closer in age to Alison's four year old daughter, Faron, but bonded right away with her older daughter, Kaia. The two of you ran around, played on the teeter totter, played tag, and lay on the blankets eating leftovers from lunch and talking about your families. I love listening to you talk to other kids and watching you play. You are so sure of yourself and just enjoy yourself in everything you do. I am endlessly proud of you.
Today we went to the park and met up with my friend Alison and her four kids. You have met them before, but you didn't remember it, although you had called yourself Princess Kaia for quite sometime after meeting them. We had a picnic and then played on the equipment and fed the geese. You had a great time. You are closer in age to Alison's four year old daughter, Faron, but bonded right away with her older daughter, Kaia. The two of you ran around, played on the teeter totter, played tag, and lay on the blankets eating leftovers from lunch and talking about your families. I love listening to you talk to other kids and watching you play. You are so sure of yourself and just enjoy yourself in everything you do. I am endlessly proud of you.
Love Mommy
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Your Birth Story
Dear Rachel,
I'm going to tell you about your birth.
When I was 38 weeks pregnant, I went to my last OB appointment. She checked and told me that I was 2cm dilated already, but not to get excited about it. That night, Daddy and I went to dinner at Grandma's house. Daddy's Uncle John said I 'had the look' and that he guessed I wouldn't last the weekend. He was right!
The next day, Thursday, nothing happened.
On Friday, Grandpa Allan, Grandma Marilynn, Auntie Crystal and Uncle Connor came over for dinner. I was so tired! I was exhausted just from ordering pizza and couldn't wait for them to leave so I could go to bed.
The next morning, I woke up with some odd feelings. I was having contractions! After waiting a bit and staying in bed I realized they weren't going away. I got out my baby book and started writing down the times. They were all over the place, not painful at all, not consistent. I parked myself in my lazyboy and watched the last of my Sex and the City DVD's, laying on my heating pad. I felt fine. Nana always said that 'when it happens, you'll know'. Well, I had no idea, so I figured that must mean it wasn't it. She had also said that her labours were hours and days long, so not to call her in the early hours so that she didn't have to be put in suspense for ages. So, I watched my DVD's and just kept writing down the time.
In the early afternoon, they petered off and stopped. I had a shower. Then I had a nap.
Around 4pm, they started up again and this time they came a lot faster. They still didn't hurt. Just after 6pm, I called Nana. She was confused when I told her they were every 5 minutes or so for the last 2 hours, they lasted a minute, but they didn't hurt. She told me to call Telehealth (a health hotline where you get to talk to a nurse). After I finished the last DVD, I called. The nurse freaked out! She told me to get to the hospital right away as the contractions were now 3-4 minutes apart.
I called my friend Jordanna (Auntie JJ) and told her it was time. She was meeting us at the hospital to help me stay calm during labour. Then, just as I was finishing packing my bag, Grandpa Allan and Grandma Marilynn showed up. They brought a bassinette for you to sleep in and a pink hippo. We told them I was on my way to the hospital and they were so excited!
On the way to the hospital, we returned my SATC DVD's to Blockbuster. When we got to the hospital, Daddy asked if we should park or if he should drop me off. I said I was fine, let's park. It was only across the street that I had to walk.
As soon as I got out of the car, I had a contraction. Only this time it was huge and it hurt like none other. I could barely walk without having another and another and another. It took us forever to get across the street because they kept coming and they hurt so much! NOW I knew it was time!
We got in and met Auntie JJ. The nurses checked me and said I was only 3cm dilated and that I should walk the halls a bit to see if that would get things moving more. The three of us walked for an hour. We got up and down the hall maybe twice. I kept having to stop. I tried every different position: standing, sitting, squatting, rocking, leaning... nothing helped. Daddy yelled at a nurse that I was in labour and needed a room! They brought me back in and checked me again. The nurse was kind enough to notice that I was 'hyper contracting' and that there wasn't much of a break between the contractions, they just kept coming one after the other. I already knew that! She asked if I wanted an epidural. I wasn't sure! I asked the nurse how far along I was and when she thought that you would be born. She said that since it was my first baby and I had been having contractions for about 5-6 hours at that point, she figured it would be until the next morning. I wasn't sure I could last that long. I could hardly talk enough to tell them to get me an epidural. Daddy was very happy to hear that.
They set me up in my own birthing room then and had me answer a whole bunch of questions between contractions (which didn't really happen). Then they kicked Daddy and Auntie JJ out of the room and told me that it wasn't long then. By 11:30, the pain would be gone. They were right! The doctor put in my epidural and it worked perfectly. Within 20 minutes, all feeling was gone from my waist down. It was a very odd feeling, but such a nice break from the contractions. Daddy, Auntie JJ and I sat around chatting, joking, and hanging out for awhile. We were making bets on when you would arrive. I bet 7am, Auntie JJ bet sometime around 4 or 5am, and Daddy said 2:12am since that was what time he was born at. We all laughed at Daddy because it was 1am and things weren't moving that fast.
The nurse told us to take a nap. She said it would be a long night and I had some work to do, so it was best to rest. She told me that a baby's heart rate often dips during transition, so not to get upset if she suddenly put an oxygen mask on me. She also had to flip me from one side to the other to make sure that the epidural was equal on both sides. With that, we dimmed the lights and closed our eyes. At 2:09, Daddy piped up and said he only had 3 minutes to win. We laughed and dozed some more. Four minutes later, the nurse stood up and put the oxygen mask on me. Then she started to roll me from one side to the other, but froze halfway, turned on the lights, opened the door and yelled for the doctor, then told Daddy and Auntie JJ to grab my legs. I was barely awake and you were coming!
The doctors and nurses came in, the bed was prepped, my legs were grabbed and in a couple short pushes, you flew out. You were wailing in no time and scored nice and high on your Apgar. Daddy and Auntie JJ went with you to take pictures of you being wiped off and weighed (8lbs 6oz) and measured (20inches). Then they wrapped you up and put you in my arms.
You were unbelievable. There aren't words for what it feels like to have your first child placed in your arms. I could not believe that you were mine and that you were that wiggly thing that had been growning inside me for 9 months. And I could not fathom how beautiful you were, with your little face all scrunched up and pink. You smelled incredible. I had no idea that a new baby could smell so delicious. I turned to your Daddy and said, "I want ten!" I was so certain in that moment that being a mom was what I was meant to be and I just wanted this incredible moment to happen again and again and again. And again.
I had to stay in the birthing room for an hour after you were born to make sure that nothing happened to either of us. I got to start nursing you right away and you did well at it. We called Nana and Grandpa, Grandma, and Grandpa Allan and Grandma Marilynn. We had Nana call Auntie Kristi to tell her right away. The first grandbaby! I can't even describe how excited everyone was to hear of your birth.
They pushed my bed to the ward room after that. Auntie JJ, Daddy and I sat around staring at you for awhile, then Auntie JJ left to get some sleep. At about 4:30am, Daddy left to get some sleep and I was left alone with you. Just you and me.
I couldn't sleep. I just lay there watching you. Picking you up and holding you, then putting you back in your bassinette and watching you. Then picking you up again so I could inhale your smell and stare at your beautiful little face again. I had no idea what to do with you, other than adore your every bit. I had never been happier in my entire life.
Love Mommy
I'm going to tell you about your birth.
When I was 38 weeks pregnant, I went to my last OB appointment. She checked and told me that I was 2cm dilated already, but not to get excited about it. That night, Daddy and I went to dinner at Grandma's house. Daddy's Uncle John said I 'had the look' and that he guessed I wouldn't last the weekend. He was right!
The next day, Thursday, nothing happened.
On Friday, Grandpa Allan, Grandma Marilynn, Auntie Crystal and Uncle Connor came over for dinner. I was so tired! I was exhausted just from ordering pizza and couldn't wait for them to leave so I could go to bed.
The next morning, I woke up with some odd feelings. I was having contractions! After waiting a bit and staying in bed I realized they weren't going away. I got out my baby book and started writing down the times. They were all over the place, not painful at all, not consistent. I parked myself in my lazyboy and watched the last of my Sex and the City DVD's, laying on my heating pad. I felt fine. Nana always said that 'when it happens, you'll know'. Well, I had no idea, so I figured that must mean it wasn't it. She had also said that her labours were hours and days long, so not to call her in the early hours so that she didn't have to be put in suspense for ages. So, I watched my DVD's and just kept writing down the time.
In the early afternoon, they petered off and stopped. I had a shower. Then I had a nap.
Around 4pm, they started up again and this time they came a lot faster. They still didn't hurt. Just after 6pm, I called Nana. She was confused when I told her they were every 5 minutes or so for the last 2 hours, they lasted a minute, but they didn't hurt. She told me to call Telehealth (a health hotline where you get to talk to a nurse). After I finished the last DVD, I called. The nurse freaked out! She told me to get to the hospital right away as the contractions were now 3-4 minutes apart.
I called my friend Jordanna (Auntie JJ) and told her it was time. She was meeting us at the hospital to help me stay calm during labour. Then, just as I was finishing packing my bag, Grandpa Allan and Grandma Marilynn showed up. They brought a bassinette for you to sleep in and a pink hippo. We told them I was on my way to the hospital and they were so excited!
On the way to the hospital, we returned my SATC DVD's to Blockbuster. When we got to the hospital, Daddy asked if we should park or if he should drop me off. I said I was fine, let's park. It was only across the street that I had to walk.
As soon as I got out of the car, I had a contraction. Only this time it was huge and it hurt like none other. I could barely walk without having another and another and another. It took us forever to get across the street because they kept coming and they hurt so much! NOW I knew it was time!
We got in and met Auntie JJ. The nurses checked me and said I was only 3cm dilated and that I should walk the halls a bit to see if that would get things moving more. The three of us walked for an hour. We got up and down the hall maybe twice. I kept having to stop. I tried every different position: standing, sitting, squatting, rocking, leaning... nothing helped. Daddy yelled at a nurse that I was in labour and needed a room! They brought me back in and checked me again. The nurse was kind enough to notice that I was 'hyper contracting' and that there wasn't much of a break between the contractions, they just kept coming one after the other. I already knew that! She asked if I wanted an epidural. I wasn't sure! I asked the nurse how far along I was and when she thought that you would be born. She said that since it was my first baby and I had been having contractions for about 5-6 hours at that point, she figured it would be until the next morning. I wasn't sure I could last that long. I could hardly talk enough to tell them to get me an epidural. Daddy was very happy to hear that.
They set me up in my own birthing room then and had me answer a whole bunch of questions between contractions (which didn't really happen). Then they kicked Daddy and Auntie JJ out of the room and told me that it wasn't long then. By 11:30, the pain would be gone. They were right! The doctor put in my epidural and it worked perfectly. Within 20 minutes, all feeling was gone from my waist down. It was a very odd feeling, but such a nice break from the contractions. Daddy, Auntie JJ and I sat around chatting, joking, and hanging out for awhile. We were making bets on when you would arrive. I bet 7am, Auntie JJ bet sometime around 4 or 5am, and Daddy said 2:12am since that was what time he was born at. We all laughed at Daddy because it was 1am and things weren't moving that fast.
The nurse told us to take a nap. She said it would be a long night and I had some work to do, so it was best to rest. She told me that a baby's heart rate often dips during transition, so not to get upset if she suddenly put an oxygen mask on me. She also had to flip me from one side to the other to make sure that the epidural was equal on both sides. With that, we dimmed the lights and closed our eyes. At 2:09, Daddy piped up and said he only had 3 minutes to win. We laughed and dozed some more. Four minutes later, the nurse stood up and put the oxygen mask on me. Then she started to roll me from one side to the other, but froze halfway, turned on the lights, opened the door and yelled for the doctor, then told Daddy and Auntie JJ to grab my legs. I was barely awake and you were coming!
The doctors and nurses came in, the bed was prepped, my legs were grabbed and in a couple short pushes, you flew out. You were wailing in no time and scored nice and high on your Apgar. Daddy and Auntie JJ went with you to take pictures of you being wiped off and weighed (8lbs 6oz) and measured (20inches). Then they wrapped you up and put you in my arms.
You were unbelievable. There aren't words for what it feels like to have your first child placed in your arms. I could not believe that you were mine and that you were that wiggly thing that had been growning inside me for 9 months. And I could not fathom how beautiful you were, with your little face all scrunched up and pink. You smelled incredible. I had no idea that a new baby could smell so delicious. I turned to your Daddy and said, "I want ten!" I was so certain in that moment that being a mom was what I was meant to be and I just wanted this incredible moment to happen again and again and again. And again.
I had to stay in the birthing room for an hour after you were born to make sure that nothing happened to either of us. I got to start nursing you right away and you did well at it. We called Nana and Grandpa, Grandma, and Grandpa Allan and Grandma Marilynn. We had Nana call Auntie Kristi to tell her right away. The first grandbaby! I can't even describe how excited everyone was to hear of your birth.
They pushed my bed to the ward room after that. Auntie JJ, Daddy and I sat around staring at you for awhile, then Auntie JJ left to get some sleep. At about 4:30am, Daddy left to get some sleep and I was left alone with you. Just you and me.
I couldn't sleep. I just lay there watching you. Picking you up and holding you, then putting you back in your bassinette and watching you. Then picking you up again so I could inhale your smell and stare at your beautiful little face again. I had no idea what to do with you, other than adore your every bit. I had never been happier in my entire life.
Love Mommy
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Gardening
Dear Rachie,
Today you and I spent a couple hours gardening together. Cordelia and Kingsley were napping and it was a beautiful 20 or so degrees, sunny, and perfect. You started off playing by yourself in the water table and digging up dirt in the rose garden, but the sound of a bee sent you running to my end of the yard. You ended up sitting with me as I made my way around, weeding and yanking stuff up.
You fed me a constant stream of chatter, just non stop. You talked about how Cordie had been stung by bees last year and how you had been stung by 'squito bites. You talked about your trip to the hospital after the one 'squito bite got your eye. All of the critters and animals that have wings and what they eat and what eats them. What bugs are nice bugs (ants, wormies, butterflies, callerpillars) and what bugs are mean bugs (bees, 'squito bites). What you planted at school (a bean) but weren't bringing home. And on and on and on.
All the while, you were collecting worms and feeding your wormies and watching them play. You kept picking them up with your fingers and I tried not to flinch or back away when you would put them in front of my face to say hi to their face (which you were certain you could find). You decided that I was a talk-to-worms person, not a touch-worms person. Very wise.
It was so nice spending the afternoon with you. We don't get a lot of one on one time anymore when we can just talk.
Today you and I spent a couple hours gardening together. Cordelia and Kingsley were napping and it was a beautiful 20 or so degrees, sunny, and perfect. You started off playing by yourself in the water table and digging up dirt in the rose garden, but the sound of a bee sent you running to my end of the yard. You ended up sitting with me as I made my way around, weeding and yanking stuff up.
You fed me a constant stream of chatter, just non stop. You talked about how Cordie had been stung by bees last year and how you had been stung by 'squito bites. You talked about your trip to the hospital after the one 'squito bite got your eye. All of the critters and animals that have wings and what they eat and what eats them. What bugs are nice bugs (ants, wormies, butterflies, callerpillars) and what bugs are mean bugs (bees, 'squito bites). What you planted at school (a bean) but weren't bringing home. And on and on and on.
All the while, you were collecting worms and feeding your wormies and watching them play. You kept picking them up with your fingers and I tried not to flinch or back away when you would put them in front of my face to say hi to their face (which you were certain you could find). You decided that I was a talk-to-worms person, not a touch-worms person. Very wise.
It was so nice spending the afternoon with you. We don't get a lot of one on one time anymore when we can just talk.
Love Mommy
Saturday, April 17, 2010
My First Pregnancy
Hi My Little Love,
I've mentioned before that I did not enjoy being pregnant with you, but don't be offended. I didn't enjoy being pregnant with your brother or sister either! Let me tell you about it.
The nausea started when I was about 5 or 6 weeks pregnant. It lasted until about 14 weeks, then came back by 23 weeks. I never threw up, just constantly felt like I was going to. Some times, I wished I would. I gained very little weight in the first trimester because I could barely bring myself to eat. I made up for it in the second and third trimester though. In the end, I gained about 48lbs. It was incredibly surreal to the point of hilarity for me at times to see the numbers creeping up on the scale. I couldn't believe the numbers.
Despite the nausea, I had crazy cravings. I never before understood what pregnancy cravings were, but the overwhelming, sudden urge for specific food was undeniable. I wanted fish and chips from the place around the corner from where I grew up. I wanted my Nana's spaghetti sauce. I wanted garlic, cloves and coves of garlic. Baked potatoes, cheese, ravioli, french fries, caesar salad.
Part of why I gained so much weight was the swelling. It started early during the 4th month and didn't let up until after your birth. I felt like a sausage ready to burst out of it's casing. It wasn't pretty. My driver's license picture had to be taken a few weeks before you were born and the picture looks nothing like me because of how puffy my face was. My feet bulged out of my shoes. I had to wear Daddy's socks because my own cut the circulation off in my feet.
I was tired all the time. My back hurt, my hips hurt, and I experienced heart burn for the first time in my life. I discovered what acid reflux is. Tums became part of my daily intake.
And amongst all of this, I discovered something amazing. You! I first saw you in mid-September. When the ultrasound technician turned the screen and showed me you, I teared up. You were this tiny little thing and you were moving all around! I couldn't feel it, but I could see you! I wanted to watch you forever. I had never seen anything so amazing in all of my life.
Two weeks later, at Daddy's friend Andrew's funeral, I felt you move. I was sitting in the church and the priest was waving around incense and I felt you fluttering around. It was like music inside of me. By 18 weeks, I was feeling you all of the time and by 21 weeks Daddy could feel you, too. I would wake up in the middle of the night to find his hands on my belly as the two of you had your first father-daughter time. We would lie in bed on Saturday and Sunday mornings and I would eat the chocolate from my Advent calendar so that we could watch you move. It was the most incredible thing I had ever seen or felt. By 31 weeks, the movement became painful. You were head down and some days it felt like you had a knee wedged on each side of my ribs as I drove home from work. I couldn't fathom how I could possibly get bigger, but still I did. I could feel your body parts and identify where your head, shoulders, bum and limbs were. You hiccupped a lot!
In mid-February I finally had my second ultrasound. The technician was very bubbly and before she invited Daddy back in, she asked me if I wanted to know if you were a boy or girl. I said YES! She turned the screen and looked at me expectantly. I looked back at her. I had no idea what I was looking at. "It's a girl!" she said. Up until that point, I had always said I didn't care if you were a boy or girl and I thought I honestly meant it. But hearing the words 'it's a girl' brought so much happiness, I was overwhelmed. I was so thrilled. She brought Daddy in and I couldn't hide my huge smile as I told him the news.
Other than that, they were a little concerned about your size and my size. I was put on a diet, then another diet, then told to just forget it. Apparently, I was just meant to gain weight!
When I was 36 weeks pregnant, I was almost induced. I was very busy at work and my Grandma was sick. My blood pressure went up. I had a NonStress Test: two straps and monitors were wrapped around my belly and I was given a button to push everytime you moved. I lay on the hospital bed in triage and talked to you for 45 minutes, trying to stay calm and just keep you calm. We passed and I was allowed to leave.
On Saturday, March 18, at 38 weeks, 6 days, I went into labour with you and the long, long pregnancy finally came to an end very early the next morning. It was, and still is, one of the best days of my life.
Love Mommy
I've mentioned before that I did not enjoy being pregnant with you, but don't be offended. I didn't enjoy being pregnant with your brother or sister either! Let me tell you about it.
The nausea started when I was about 5 or 6 weeks pregnant. It lasted until about 14 weeks, then came back by 23 weeks. I never threw up, just constantly felt like I was going to. Some times, I wished I would. I gained very little weight in the first trimester because I could barely bring myself to eat. I made up for it in the second and third trimester though. In the end, I gained about 48lbs. It was incredibly surreal to the point of hilarity for me at times to see the numbers creeping up on the scale. I couldn't believe the numbers.
Despite the nausea, I had crazy cravings. I never before understood what pregnancy cravings were, but the overwhelming, sudden urge for specific food was undeniable. I wanted fish and chips from the place around the corner from where I grew up. I wanted my Nana's spaghetti sauce. I wanted garlic, cloves and coves of garlic. Baked potatoes, cheese, ravioli, french fries, caesar salad.
Part of why I gained so much weight was the swelling. It started early during the 4th month and didn't let up until after your birth. I felt like a sausage ready to burst out of it's casing. It wasn't pretty. My driver's license picture had to be taken a few weeks before you were born and the picture looks nothing like me because of how puffy my face was. My feet bulged out of my shoes. I had to wear Daddy's socks because my own cut the circulation off in my feet.
I was tired all the time. My back hurt, my hips hurt, and I experienced heart burn for the first time in my life. I discovered what acid reflux is. Tums became part of my daily intake.
And amongst all of this, I discovered something amazing. You! I first saw you in mid-September. When the ultrasound technician turned the screen and showed me you, I teared up. You were this tiny little thing and you were moving all around! I couldn't feel it, but I could see you! I wanted to watch you forever. I had never seen anything so amazing in all of my life.
Two weeks later, at Daddy's friend Andrew's funeral, I felt you move. I was sitting in the church and the priest was waving around incense and I felt you fluttering around. It was like music inside of me. By 18 weeks, I was feeling you all of the time and by 21 weeks Daddy could feel you, too. I would wake up in the middle of the night to find his hands on my belly as the two of you had your first father-daughter time. We would lie in bed on Saturday and Sunday mornings and I would eat the chocolate from my Advent calendar so that we could watch you move. It was the most incredible thing I had ever seen or felt. By 31 weeks, the movement became painful. You were head down and some days it felt like you had a knee wedged on each side of my ribs as I drove home from work. I couldn't fathom how I could possibly get bigger, but still I did. I could feel your body parts and identify where your head, shoulders, bum and limbs were. You hiccupped a lot!
In mid-February I finally had my second ultrasound. The technician was very bubbly and before she invited Daddy back in, she asked me if I wanted to know if you were a boy or girl. I said YES! She turned the screen and looked at me expectantly. I looked back at her. I had no idea what I was looking at. "It's a girl!" she said. Up until that point, I had always said I didn't care if you were a boy or girl and I thought I honestly meant it. But hearing the words 'it's a girl' brought so much happiness, I was overwhelmed. I was so thrilled. She brought Daddy in and I couldn't hide my huge smile as I told him the news.
Other than that, they were a little concerned about your size and my size. I was put on a diet, then another diet, then told to just forget it. Apparently, I was just meant to gain weight!
When I was 36 weeks pregnant, I was almost induced. I was very busy at work and my Grandma was sick. My blood pressure went up. I had a NonStress Test: two straps and monitors were wrapped around my belly and I was given a button to push everytime you moved. I lay on the hospital bed in triage and talked to you for 45 minutes, trying to stay calm and just keep you calm. We passed and I was allowed to leave.
On Saturday, March 18, at 38 weeks, 6 days, I went into labour with you and the long, long pregnancy finally came to an end very early the next morning. It was, and still is, one of the best days of my life.
Love Mommy
When I Was Pregnant with You
Dear Turtle,
I want to tell you about some of the things that happened while I was pregnant with you.
I told most of my girlfriends early on. My theory was that if something happened and I lost the pregnancy, I would need them for support. They were very excited. You were going to be the first baby in our group. When I was 10 weeks pregnant, my friend Silvia told me that she was pregnant as well. Little did we know that Eric would be born exactly 1 month after you and would be your future best friend. As Eric said today at his fourth birthday party, "Rachel has always been my friend..." That's true. The first time I ever left the house without you was when I went to the hospital to meet him hours after he was born. But I'll tell you about that later!
I was in the last semester of my MA from UNR when I got pregnant. I had the option of finishing my thesis in December 2005, or fast tracking and getting it done in August. I chose to fast track, because you just never know what the future has for you. It ended up being a good, but difficult decision. I finished writing my MA thesis just as morning sickness hit. I have vivid memories of sitting at my desk chair forcing myself to type and thinking about what I could possibly eat that would make this horrid feeling go away. Nothing worked, but my thesis did get finished and on the first week of August, I submitted the final draft. I graduated that fall and our ceremony was in February 2006, when I was 33 weeks pregnant. I look hideous in the few pictures we have, in the shiny black gown that looked like a tent.
Lots of things changed that summer that I was pregnant with you. Daddy's best friend Mitch moved away. They had been best friends since they were 9 and did everything together. He had spent some time in Quebec and in Europe before this, but nothing permanent. This time, he moved to Vancouver and hasn't moved back since. He's currently living in India and California. Aunt Kristi and Uncle Kevin also moved to Vancouver that summer. I was very sad that they were leaving and wouldn't be here with us when you were born. They left us a lot of furniture when they left, which finally filled up our little home (I'm sitting on a big blue couch they gave us as I type this).
That summer there was also a big global event. There was a hurricane (Katerina) in the southern United States that hit New Orleans, followed by another one (Hurricane Rita). It made gas prices here skyrocket. It wasn't a great summer to be commuting to Brantford to work. Now, gas prices around the $1/L mark are not a big deal, but back then none of the gas station signs were even able to advertise the prices accurately because there wasn't a space for that many numbers.
Daddy had to say goodbye to a friend of his that fall. He had known Andrew since he was 14 years old and his passing was a shock. Andrew's funeral was the first time I had seen your Daddy cry.
One of my favourite things that happened when I was pregnant with you was the release of the fourth Harry Potter movie. I love the Harry Potter books and although the movies rarely live up to the books, I still get very excited about them. I went to the midnight showing and loved every minute of it.
In the winter of 2006, Canada had a federal election and Stephen Harper was elected as the lastest Prime Minister. Daddy and I were not pleased with this. Election hype dominated the media for quite some time. Also that winter were the Olympic Games in Turin, Italy. Compared to how wrapped up we got this past winter in the Olympic Games in Vancouver, those games barely registered.
Finally, exactly two weeks before you were born, my Grandma (your Grandpa's mom) passed away. She was just a few weeks shy of her 94th birthday and her health had been slowly fading. I was very sad that she would never get to meet you. I spent a lot of time with my Grandma in the last few years of her life and was greatful that I had had that time with her. Her funeral brought back so much of our family to London/St. Thomas for the first time since my and Daddy's wedding, and for some longer than that! It was so wonderful to see everyone, despite the occassion. My grandma was buried on my 28th birthday and afterward we all gathered at Nana and Grandpa's house to watch home movies, eat pizza, and celebrate my first big family birthday party in over two decades. My feet were almost too swollen for shoes, I had barely a thing to wear, but we all laughed and had a great time that night. Grandma's passing also meant that my Godmother, my Aunt Carolyn, was in town when you were born and she got to meet you before she left. That meant a lot to me.
It was a very busy 9 months!
Love Mommy
I want to tell you about some of the things that happened while I was pregnant with you.
I told most of my girlfriends early on. My theory was that if something happened and I lost the pregnancy, I would need them for support. They were very excited. You were going to be the first baby in our group. When I was 10 weeks pregnant, my friend Silvia told me that she was pregnant as well. Little did we know that Eric would be born exactly 1 month after you and would be your future best friend. As Eric said today at his fourth birthday party, "Rachel has always been my friend..." That's true. The first time I ever left the house without you was when I went to the hospital to meet him hours after he was born. But I'll tell you about that later!
I was in the last semester of my MA from UNR when I got pregnant. I had the option of finishing my thesis in December 2005, or fast tracking and getting it done in August. I chose to fast track, because you just never know what the future has for you. It ended up being a good, but difficult decision. I finished writing my MA thesis just as morning sickness hit. I have vivid memories of sitting at my desk chair forcing myself to type and thinking about what I could possibly eat that would make this horrid feeling go away. Nothing worked, but my thesis did get finished and on the first week of August, I submitted the final draft. I graduated that fall and our ceremony was in February 2006, when I was 33 weeks pregnant. I look hideous in the few pictures we have, in the shiny black gown that looked like a tent.
Lots of things changed that summer that I was pregnant with you. Daddy's best friend Mitch moved away. They had been best friends since they were 9 and did everything together. He had spent some time in Quebec and in Europe before this, but nothing permanent. This time, he moved to Vancouver and hasn't moved back since. He's currently living in India and California. Aunt Kristi and Uncle Kevin also moved to Vancouver that summer. I was very sad that they were leaving and wouldn't be here with us when you were born. They left us a lot of furniture when they left, which finally filled up our little home (I'm sitting on a big blue couch they gave us as I type this).
That summer there was also a big global event. There was a hurricane (Katerina) in the southern United States that hit New Orleans, followed by another one (Hurricane Rita). It made gas prices here skyrocket. It wasn't a great summer to be commuting to Brantford to work. Now, gas prices around the $1/L mark are not a big deal, but back then none of the gas station signs were even able to advertise the prices accurately because there wasn't a space for that many numbers.
Daddy had to say goodbye to a friend of his that fall. He had known Andrew since he was 14 years old and his passing was a shock. Andrew's funeral was the first time I had seen your Daddy cry.
One of my favourite things that happened when I was pregnant with you was the release of the fourth Harry Potter movie. I love the Harry Potter books and although the movies rarely live up to the books, I still get very excited about them. I went to the midnight showing and loved every minute of it.
In the winter of 2006, Canada had a federal election and Stephen Harper was elected as the lastest Prime Minister. Daddy and I were not pleased with this. Election hype dominated the media for quite some time. Also that winter were the Olympic Games in Turin, Italy. Compared to how wrapped up we got this past winter in the Olympic Games in Vancouver, those games barely registered.
Finally, exactly two weeks before you were born, my Grandma (your Grandpa's mom) passed away. She was just a few weeks shy of her 94th birthday and her health had been slowly fading. I was very sad that she would never get to meet you. I spent a lot of time with my Grandma in the last few years of her life and was greatful that I had had that time with her. Her funeral brought back so much of our family to London/St. Thomas for the first time since my and Daddy's wedding, and for some longer than that! It was so wonderful to see everyone, despite the occassion. My grandma was buried on my 28th birthday and afterward we all gathered at Nana and Grandpa's house to watch home movies, eat pizza, and celebrate my first big family birthday party in over two decades. My feet were almost too swollen for shoes, I had barely a thing to wear, but we all laughed and had a great time that night. Grandma's passing also meant that my Godmother, my Aunt Carolyn, was in town when you were born and she got to meet you before she left. That meant a lot to me.
It was a very busy 9 months!
Love Mommy
When I Found Out
Dear Rachie,
Daddy and I planned on having you. We wanted to start having babies shortly after we were married, but Daddy was still in law school and we were living in Windsor. It was a dirty city and I decided I couldn't even let myself get pregnant there. Once we moved back to London, I couldn't find a job. In March of 2005, almost a year before you were born, I got my dream job. After a month or so there, we decided that we were done waiting. We wanted a baby, whether we had the money or not.
In July, I took a pregnancy test. It was very early on a Saturday morning. It came out positive. I went in the bedroom and told Daddy and then we both fell back asleep. When I woke up, I panicked. I wanted you so badly, but knew in that moment that my life would never be the same and it scared me. Everything felt surreal.
A week later, I went to Nana and Grandpa's and told them that I had something to tell them. Grandpa sat down with me in their TV room and called Nana in. Grandpa told her I had some big news, so he figured I was either moving away or pregnant. I told them I wasn't moving anywhere. Nana teared up and Grandpa got a big goofy grin on his face. They were so excited for you!
Being pregnant with you was not much fun. I was nauseous nearly all day, every day for the majority of the 9 months. It was hard to hide it from people. Your dad got tired of me telling him. I got tired of feeling like that.
I was scared of a lot of things when I was pregnant with you. I was scared of what my life would be like when you arrived. I was scared that I wouldn't be a good mom. I was scared of how you would arrive. Everything was new and different, but I had no reason to be scared. You and I would work through everything together.
Love Mommy
Daddy and I planned on having you. We wanted to start having babies shortly after we were married, but Daddy was still in law school and we were living in Windsor. It was a dirty city and I decided I couldn't even let myself get pregnant there. Once we moved back to London, I couldn't find a job. In March of 2005, almost a year before you were born, I got my dream job. After a month or so there, we decided that we were done waiting. We wanted a baby, whether we had the money or not.
In July, I took a pregnancy test. It was very early on a Saturday morning. It came out positive. I went in the bedroom and told Daddy and then we both fell back asleep. When I woke up, I panicked. I wanted you so badly, but knew in that moment that my life would never be the same and it scared me. Everything felt surreal.
A week later, I went to Nana and Grandpa's and told them that I had something to tell them. Grandpa sat down with me in their TV room and called Nana in. Grandpa told her I had some big news, so he figured I was either moving away or pregnant. I told them I wasn't moving anywhere. Nana teared up and Grandpa got a big goofy grin on his face. They were so excited for you!
Being pregnant with you was not much fun. I was nauseous nearly all day, every day for the majority of the 9 months. It was hard to hide it from people. Your dad got tired of me telling him. I got tired of feeling like that.
I was scared of a lot of things when I was pregnant with you. I was scared of what my life would be like when you arrived. I was scared that I wouldn't be a good mom. I was scared of how you would arrive. Everything was new and different, but I had no reason to be scared. You and I would work through everything together.
Love Mommy
Who You Are Right Now
Dear Rachel,
Today you are 4 years, 4 weeks, and 1 day old.
You have long caramel coloured hair that goes halfway down your back in thin, unbrushed locks and big blue eyes. Your favourite things to say are: "Well..." and "But it takes a long time, mommy..." because I'm constantly having to tell you to wait for things.
Right now as I type this, you are in the bathtub with your sister. The bathtub is ugly grey in your grey bathroom. You are putting bubbles all over Mermaid Dora and then washing them off with a little yellow plastic watering can. You have a running commentary for Dora about what you are doing to her. Your sister is in the tub, back-to-back with you. She's about to fight you for Dora, which is actually her doll.
You are in preschool at The Performing Arts Preschool two mornings a week and you also go to Creative Movement dance lessons at Dance Extreme on Sunday mornings. The class is ridiculously slow and you do the same thing every week. Your friend Molly (whose mom is my friend Gail, from when I was little) is in the class with you, but she doesn't like it either and doesn't always show up.
People are always commenting on how sweet you are. You have the sweetest, softest little voice a lot of the time. You are very sensitive and always asking for hugs and kisses. You tell everyone that you love them (you just told Cordelia that in the bath right now) about a hundred times a day. Whenever you do something you know you shouldn't have, you will look at me with sad eyes and a pouty lip and say, "Mommy... I love you." I am a sucker for this, although you're going to realize this soon so I have to be more firm.
You and Cordelia are fighting over the cups right now and you are sulking because I've told you that you cannot have the orange cup that you swiped out of her hand. She's oblivious and tryng to get you to splash with her. I can see the start of a smile in your sulking face as she wins you over.
You talk a lot, as you always have. Your language is great, although you are going through that phase where you overgeneralize the -ed's on your words. You tell me that you ranned, or moveded, or wented somewhere. You're starting to correct yourself now and use the correct tenses. It always saddens me a bit when you lose these little Rachel-isms about your language, although you would seem silly if you never did learn it. You still say 'vitaminin' for vitamin, which I make you say about 3 times every morning because it's so cute. Daddy tries to tell me that I have to prompt you to say it correctly, but I don't want to.
Rachel, you are the sweetest little four year old I have ever met. At every stage and phase you go through, I think "THIS is the best age! I want her to stay this age forever." and then you will grow and learn something new and enter a new stage and I will think it again. You just keep getting more delightful. I love you so so so so so so much (which is something you tell me all the time).
Love Mommy
Today you are 4 years, 4 weeks, and 1 day old.
You have long caramel coloured hair that goes halfway down your back in thin, unbrushed locks and big blue eyes. Your favourite things to say are: "Well..." and "But it takes a long time, mommy..." because I'm constantly having to tell you to wait for things.
Right now as I type this, you are in the bathtub with your sister. The bathtub is ugly grey in your grey bathroom. You are putting bubbles all over Mermaid Dora and then washing them off with a little yellow plastic watering can. You have a running commentary for Dora about what you are doing to her. Your sister is in the tub, back-to-back with you. She's about to fight you for Dora, which is actually her doll.
You are in preschool at The Performing Arts Preschool two mornings a week and you also go to Creative Movement dance lessons at Dance Extreme on Sunday mornings. The class is ridiculously slow and you do the same thing every week. Your friend Molly (whose mom is my friend Gail, from when I was little) is in the class with you, but she doesn't like it either and doesn't always show up.
People are always commenting on how sweet you are. You have the sweetest, softest little voice a lot of the time. You are very sensitive and always asking for hugs and kisses. You tell everyone that you love them (you just told Cordelia that in the bath right now) about a hundred times a day. Whenever you do something you know you shouldn't have, you will look at me with sad eyes and a pouty lip and say, "Mommy... I love you." I am a sucker for this, although you're going to realize this soon so I have to be more firm.
You and Cordelia are fighting over the cups right now and you are sulking because I've told you that you cannot have the orange cup that you swiped out of her hand. She's oblivious and tryng to get you to splash with her. I can see the start of a smile in your sulking face as she wins you over.
You talk a lot, as you always have. Your language is great, although you are going through that phase where you overgeneralize the -ed's on your words. You tell me that you ranned, or moveded, or wented somewhere. You're starting to correct yourself now and use the correct tenses. It always saddens me a bit when you lose these little Rachel-isms about your language, although you would seem silly if you never did learn it. You still say 'vitaminin' for vitamin, which I make you say about 3 times every morning because it's so cute. Daddy tries to tell me that I have to prompt you to say it correctly, but I don't want to.
Rachel, you are the sweetest little four year old I have ever met. At every stage and phase you go through, I think "THIS is the best age! I want her to stay this age forever." and then you will grow and learn something new and enter a new stage and I will think it again. You just keep getting more delightful. I love you so so so so so so much (which is something you tell me all the time).
Love Mommy
To My Rachel
Hi Sweetheart,
I figured with all of the attention your brother gets lately, you might look back one day and wonder where you were in all of this. I want to tell you about you and all of the wonderful, beautiful things that make up my incredible first born. I adore you, Turtle.
Love Mommy
I figured with all of the attention your brother gets lately, you might look back one day and wonder where you were in all of this. I want to tell you about you and all of the wonderful, beautiful things that make up my incredible first born. I adore you, Turtle.
Love Mommy
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